上海华东师范大学特殊教育昝飞教授的回复：
关于怒气管理，从行为角度分析，首先要明晰儿童发泄、处理怒气的行为是什么，然后可以分析怒气之前诱发事件是什么，怒气之后父母以往处理是否有强化存在，是否有儿童表达能力问题，思考可否消除或减少诱发事件，需要训练怒气表达行为，怒气出现之后应急处理方式。重心在儿童恰当表达怒气行为训练，及诱发事件调整。应急处理，我们会根据其怒气行为情况判断其安全性，如果安全，会在旁边安静，温和地看他，适时提醒他，也可以温和地抱住他，轻拍背部，适时安慰。但不建议多说话。冷静等待其情绪平稳。但若涉及安全问题，则需限制身体，首先保证安全，紧紧抱住，对其说嘘嘘，冷静等其平稳。之后再来处理其行为。不过每个孩子可以有所不同，关键是分析儿童为什么发怒。
微信群”自闭走向未来”的王医生
When my son has outburst, I've taught him to take “yoga breaths”. It's not really anything special but to divert attention to taking slow deep breaths. My son sometimes cannot control his thoughts but he knows it's not good behavior. Sometimes he would get into a vicious cycle of getting upset, then upset at himself for being upset, and spirals to self injury or shouting, or occasionally throwing things. What I do is to hold him and not let him hurt himself or injury others, then keep saying “Yoga Breath”. This was training over many years, especially when he was smaller and I could hold him. How he is the same size as me but he has learned to stop the “thought cycle” and focus on breathing. This works most of the time.
We showed him by example. He already took some yoga classes and at the beginning the teacher usually ask them to stay quiet and do some breathing exercises. So when he's upset, I would hold him and my wife would demonstrate yoga breath, just like the teacher did. Since the yoga breathing exercises were to have practitioners focus on one's own inner self to prepare for the lesson, this fit in perfectly. It took a little bit of time to get him used to the routine. Now works 90+% of the time.
微信群”选择性缄默”的聊天记录
微信群”选择性缄默”的聊天记录如下:
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维萍 上午10:40
@雷春/CO G02B00 dealing with anger and frustration 这点，怎么帮助孩子在frustrated 时候愿意calm down ,愿意count to 10呢？那时候基本就失去理智了。
michelle陈倩明 下午1:17
@维萍 Austin B11 我会抱着孩子摸摸她亲亲她很同情地说I know, you are so mad. 然后叫她一起深呼吸。如果是发狂那种更是要抱得紧紧的嘘嘘她。慢慢孩子才能学会自己calm down
雷春 下午1:54
@维萍 Austin B11 这位有自闭症孩子的家长是个内科医生，他的经验很值得学习。
雷春 下午1:56
@MC ca g11 你的做法和王医生相似，非常棒！对小的孩子很适用。
Hui Shi Jiang 下午2:00
怎样教会孩子在哭闹或者生气的时候self-regulate确实是一个很好的问题。有的大人也不能够self-regulate，四五十岁了还是会忍不住在家里面大发雷霆甚至迁怒于别人。@雷春/CO G02B00 是不是可以考虑请一些懂这方面的老师来跟大家讲解一下？我一时想不起应该找哪方面的人
雷春 下午2:03
@Hui Shi Jiang anger management 应该是心理医生的专业吧？
Hui Shi Jiang 下午2:10
我觉得也不全是anger management，就是管理情绪。怎样从distress中恢复过来。这个在很多自闭的孩子中尤为常见。经常被overwhelmed之后很久都没办法恢复过来。
Hui Shi Jiang 下午2:11
这是个很好的话题，我们可以多留意这方面的信息